My passion for psychology started fairly young. I was in an intense relationship in my younger teens in which there was a high degree of emotional volatility and turmoil. I had some vague notion that addressing the psyche was of paramount importance. The distress I experienced in this relationship prompted my mom to ask me if I wanted to see a therapist. I saw him a few times and he helped me see that her life, and emotions, were not my responsibility and that I, in fact, wanted to end the relationship. 

Some months later a severe, melancholic depression set in. Reflecting back on that time now I suspect that toxic mold exposure played some role in this experience. I returned to therapy and was fortunate that he was extremely insightful and skilled at his craft. Over the next ten years he helped me understand the causes of my depression and anxiety and move towards healing the underlying wounds. During this time I also became interested in exploring a non-dogmatic approach to Buddhism and began practicing Zen and Tibetan Buddhism. Early on I developed an interest in mysticism; turning inward to discover the truth about the nature of consciousness, reality, self, and god. 

My pursuit of spiritual awakening and psycho-spiritual healing led me down many paths including but not limited to: meditation & mindfulness, psychedelic healing, shamanism, Christian mysticism, Nondual traditions, energy work (qi gong, reiki, etc.), psychic practices, integral theory, masculine & feminine energetics, manifestation practices, parts work, family constellations, nervous system regulation and somatic practices, emotional release, men’s work, tantra, sexual healing, attachment theory, co-dependency & CoDA, healing familial dysfunction & ACA, and the interplay between the body/physical health & the psyche/emotional well-being.

For nearly 20 years I pushed myself hard to find peace, only to discover that the whole path was being informed by a foundational belief that something was wrong with me that needed fixing. I see this in virtually everyone; this drive for healing and growth that is motivated by a core sense of wrongness, brokenness, or incompleteness. When I finally fell to my knees and surrendered I realized that the whole time I was saying I wanted to know awakening and peace I had been unintentionally resisting the reality of who, and what, I am. And this resistance cut me off from a deeper trust and attunement to the current of wisdom that moves through my being.

This kind of process can be quite turbulent. It’s not an easy road and I don’t encourage just anyone to take it. You have to have an inner knowing, even just the vaguest whisper, that there is an intelligence embedded in the core of your being that guides you exactly where you need to be if only you learn to let go of the barriers to your own listening.